About To Break: When You Think You Can't Go On

QUESTION FROM: Sara in D.C.

"I’m really struggling with the reality of our changed world. I know for some this pandemic hasn’t effected them at all negatively (or even helped them) and for others it’s been devastating.
I’m so lucky that my family is healthy, and comfortable. I’m so grateful for all the generosity of our community, especially my fellow business owners, friends, our landlord, our staff who have shown up and adapted to whatever new reality the day brings. And for my life and business partner who basically saved us countless times with his endless work ethic and determination to complete endless applications for grants and loans.

I’m greatful for my creativity that always seemed to take over when our backs were up against a wall, reinventing our business model over and over again and registered us for one event after another. We’ve worked so hard. Like so fucking hard!!! But now I’m exhausted. I’m beat up and my positive attitude is at its limit.

I’m faced with feelings of it all being worthless, like what was it all for?? I can’t cover one more shift or pray that someone will finally walk in the door with a resume! I can’t write one more ad for a job that I know no one living here wants.

It’s just shocking that you can have great food, a great place, high customer demand, and just not have the labor force or break from the city's bulls@it to stay open. No matter how much we pay or hoops we jump through. It's just one thing after another and now something has to give, I can’t be in 4 places at once. So the tough decisions are staring me in the face and I really don’t know if I can face it.


HH ANSWER:

Sit down.

Breathe and make a list of everything that would happen if you called a “Time Out” and closed for 1 week.

Pauses/ vacations / time to breathe and clear your head is absolutely vital for sanity and success.

Not taking time out for your own sanity is a lot like digging a hole in the sand that's too close to the water.

Just commit to staying away for 7 - 10 days to de-compress.

Occupy yourself with some mindless fun, or a book, a walk, a hike, or some time to re-connect with whatever makes you smile and forget the weight of the world for a few days.

You may find that you, your relationships, your staff and your business all benefit if you can find a way to step away...and then consider what adjustments can take some pressure off you with a once you're refreshed and able to think clearer.

Sometimes the things or people you think are preventing you from stepping back and putting everything on pause might actually step up to help or be ok on-hold once you voice the need and make the decision out loud.

Either way… I think you know what's likely to happen if you don’t.

There are other people and resources listed in articles here in hospitality helpline's library and most likely in your own community who get it and know what it's like when you don't even know where to start explaining the issues and frustrations because there are just so damn many.

And I'm here to help - if you need someone to vent with or need the number of a professional mental health professional near you. You're not alone. My door / phone is open until 4amEST if you need just a little more help.

But take some time to step back and then (only AFTER you have) reassess your personal "Why" and "How".

Whether it’s limiting your menu, days open, renegotiating your lease, reorganizing your debt or taking on a working partner - the solution will be much more likely to reveal itself when you have room in your mind for it.

Life is short. You’ll figure out how to enjoy this insane journey or tie off your wounds to stop the bleeding and live to fight another day.

You got this. Deep Breaths. Seriously….Take a few deep breaths. Now.
Josh